http://www.catscratchreader.com/2010/1/ … ?ref=yahoo
Rule #1: Catch the Damn Ball!
The first rule has to involve the art of the catch. There is NO excuse for dropping a ball if you even get a pinky on it. So your favorite WR can make a one-handed catch. #89 makes one-armed catches. That's right, no matter if the other arm is broken with bones grinding against each other 89 completes the catch and then walks off the field talking smack all the way. There's no dropping the ball after a so-called ‘big hit' like prima donna WR's do. 89 makes the catch, period.
Rule #2: Score the Touchdown
When 89 has the opportunity to score he scores, come hell or broken arm (reference rule #1). There is no ‘almost scored' in the realm of 89. There is no running out of bounds. There is only 6 points. 89 exists to be in the end zone and to that end he never stops. If you should be the DB that allowed 89 into the end zone (many of the best have) then do expect to be reminded by 89 as to rule #2.
Rule #3: Palm to Grill
If you should be so unfortunate as to come within a 3 foot circle of 89 when 89 has the ball you will receive a palm to your grill that is attached to a very stiff and muscular arm. Do not let the measurable size of 89 fool you, if you invade the 3 foot circle you will receive punishment no matter who you are. 89 takes his space seriously and so should you.
Rule #4: You Have No Name
In the realm of 89 you have no given name, just a number, and the number at the top of the list is...is 89. Your number is made of digits, like 22, not spelled out like "Ocho Cinco". You being the lowly number that you are can only hope to get close to 89 but you will never be equal. 89 is the Ace of Spades in the NFL.
Rule #5: Watch Your Blind-side
89 not only catches the ball in God-like fashion but he can also dominant in run blocking. If you are a DB looking to make a tackle on a stretch play be forewarned that 89 will drill you on your blind slide and subsequently spring the RB for a TD. See 89 relishes all TD's scored by Panthers and takes great pride in it. So if you are a DB laying on the turf as a Panther RB goes by and are wondering what just happened, well its easy. Rule #5 by 89.